Hysterical Window Washing
by SweeneyToddRocksMySocks
Summary: It's a lovely day on Fleet Street and Mrs. Lovett has some fun washing the shop windows with Toby. But Mr. Todd doesn't like their antics. Uh-oh!
1. Chapter 1

It was one of those rare days in London where the sun actually shone and the clouds disappeared. Mrs. Lovett would have liked to spend the whole day outdoors at the park, but instead, she had to stay inside the hot shop and bake. She was not entirely happy about it, but contented herself with the fact that if she hurried, she just might have enough time to go later that afternoon.

Glancing up from the dough she was rolling out, she noticed that the windows were so filthy, she could hardly see out of them. _I really ought to clean those,_ she thought, _Seeing as it's such a lovely day. It'll get me an' Toby outside, at least, for a little while. _Finishing the dough, she wiped her hands on the front of her dress and went to get some rags and buckets.

She filled the buckets and placed them beside the windows. "Toby." she called, "I need your 'elp."

Toby came running out of the shop. "What's wrong Mum?" he asked, visibly concerned.

"Oh, nothing's wrong dearie," answered Mrs. Lovett, "I just thought you'd like to 'elp me wash these windows. Look at 'em! You can 'ardly see outta them anymore."

Toby studied the windows closely. "You're right Mum." he said, "I don't see 'ow we didn't notice it before." He picked up a rag. "We'd better get to work!" he said with a grin

The two of them began to work. Toby obviously had never cleaned windows before, and soon, he was wetter than the window he was supposed to be washing. Every time he splashed himself, he would shout and make a face and Mrs. Lovett would laugh. This happened a lot and consequently, they both ended up making a lot of noise. Noise that reached the ears of a brooding barber upstairs.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sweeney Todd was not happy on this fine summer day. He hated it when the sun came out; it reminded him of his darling Lucy, of Johanna, and everything else from those happy days 15 years ago. So he paced. And then he stood by the window, as pacing did nothing to help. Suddenly, Mr. Todd heard a shout, followed by laughter. Mrs. Lovett's laughter, to be exact. Looking down, he saw that she and that boy were washing the shop windows. Well, Mrs. Lovett was washing the windows; it looked like Toby was just making a mess. The boy was soaked, and it looked as if Mrs. Lovett was telling him so. She pointed at him and doubled over in what could only be laughter.

How could he possibly brood while they were making such a racket? He could hardly hear himself think. Mr. Todd decided to go down and make them be quiet, as it looked like they were going to be out for quite a while if he didn't put a stop to their antics. Opening his shop door, he began to walk down the stairs.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, Toby had enough of Mrs. Lovett's teasing. Picking up one of the rags in his bucket, he flung it at her. It landed right in her face, causing her to shriek. "TOBY!" she sputtered, pushing her now dripping curls out of her face. She looked at the rag in her hand, then at Toby, then back at the rag. Suddenly, she hurled it at the boy. But Toby ducked just in time, and it landed on the ground. "Bugger." muttered Mrs. Lovett. Toby laughed. "You got to do better than that Mum!" he said, throwing another wet rag at her. She just managed to dodge it, but slipped in a puddle and landed with a _splash _on her rear,drawing a howl of laughter from Toby.

"Ya think that's funny?" she asked, standing up. Toby could only nod, he was laughing so hard. Mrs. Lovett took this opportunity and threw a rag at him. He was so startled that he fell backwards into another puddle. "Ha!" she exclaimed, clearly proud of herself. Toby, stood up, grabbed his bucket, and proceeded to dump it's contents all over Mrs. Lovett. Gasping, she staggered backwards and tripped over her bucket, knocking it over and falling directly into the arms of Sweeney Todd. They both tumbled into the spilled water, getting Mrs. Lovett even more wet and soaking Mr. Todd.

"Damn it woman!" shouted Mr. Todd trying to get to his feet, but failing considerably since Mrs. Lovett was on top of him, "What do you think you're doing?" Mrs. Lovett responded with a shriek of laughter. Swearing under his breath, Mr. Todd pushed her off of him. He stood up and wrung out his shirt. "I just came down to tell you two to shut up." he growled. "You're making an absolute fool of yourself Mrs. Lovett!"

Mrs. Lovett stood up shakily, still giggling. "I know," she said with a grin, and then burst into hysterical laughter again. Angrily, Mr. Todd shook her by the shoulders. "What is so funny?" he demanded. "You....you... oh just look at you!" Mrs Lovett gasped out, trying to control herself.

Mr. Todd glanced at himself in the now-clean shop window. He was completely soaked from head to toe and his hair was hanging like strings all around his face. Water was dripping off of his nose and his clothes stuck to him like glue. Glancing back at Mrs. Lovett, he saw that her hair had fallen from it's typical style and her dress was positively drenched. He felt a chuckle start in his throat and he began to laugh. Not as loudly or hysterically as Mrs. Lovett or Toby had, but it was still laughter.

Mrs. Lovett's eyes widened and her mouth dropped open as she heard the demon barber laugh. She could not believe he was actually laughing. He had hardly ever even smiled since he came back from Australia. Yet here he was, _laughing! _She began to laugh along with him, happy that he was happy and very _very_ happy that he wasn't pushing her up against a wall with his razor at her neck.

Suddenly, Mr. Todd turned and began to walk up the stairs to his shop. "I'll bring these down later, Mrs. Lovett." he called, indicating his wet attire. Mrs. Lovett could only shake her head in amazement. The man was so confusing at times. Gathering up the wet rags on the ground she was suddenly very happy that she had not gone to the park like she had wanted to earlier.

_A/N :Should I continue this story, or do you think it's good as it is?_


	2. A Grumpy Mrs Lovett

True to his word, Mr. Todd brought his wet clothes down later on that evening. But he acted as if nothing happened earlier. Mrs. Lovett wasn't surprised at this, just disappointed. She had hoped that maybe things would have gotten better and that Mr. Todd would not spend so much time brooding, but this was obviously not the case. He was still the same grumpy barber he was that morning.

"Here, Mrs. Lovett," he had said, dropping the laundry on the pie shop counter. Then, without another word, he had left, leaving a rather dazed Mrs. Lovett to ponder his actions.

Now, half an hour later, Mrs. Lovett was sitting at one of the tables, sulking over her sore rear that she had fallen on earlier that day and wondering whether or not she wanted a glass of gin. She decided that she did want one and went to pour herself a glass. But Toby had gotten to it first and there was hardly any left. Rolling her eyes and groaning, Mrs. Lovett began to pour what little gin was left into a glass but changed her mind and simply drank directly from the bottle. In two swigs it was gone. She was rather grumpy now that the gin was gone and went to wash Mr. Todd's laundry before she forgot. Angrily, she scrubbed the clothes much harder than they needed to be scrubbed and ended up ripping a few of the buttons off Mr. Todd's shirt. She huffed and stormed off to go find a needle and thread. Rummaging through a drawer, she made much more noise than necessary, muttering something about a "bloody sewing kit" and throwing things out of the drawer. Finally, she found it and promptly began to mend the shirt. She was so distracted that she pricked her finger countless times before completing the job. She carried Mr. Todd's now clean laundry up the stairs to his shop, making sure to stomp on every stair. Pausing at the top, she briefly wondered if she should go in while in her angry state. _It's probably better to give it to him now_ she thought, _Otherwise he might be upset if he doesn't have it tomorrow._ Taking a deep breath to calm herself down, she knocked on the door and walked in.

Sweeney Todd was sitting in the chair, staring into one of his razors when Mrs. Lovett entered. "I brought your clothes up love." she said, "Do you want me to set them on the vanity?" Mr. Todd grunted which Mrs. Lovett took for a yes. "Alright then." she said, her voice coated with only the slightest annoyance that he still would not speak more than two syllables to her. Mr. Todd detected this annoyance and glanced up from his friend. "You made quite a bit of noise coming up here pet." he said.

_Shit,_ thought Mrs. Lovett, _Now I'm in trouble._ Turning to face Mr. Todd, she said, "I'm sorry if I bothered you Mr. T. I don't know what came over me."

Mr. Todd stood up and strode over to the window. "Is that so?" he asked.

Mrs. Lovett nervously straightened the clothes she had set down. "It won't happen again." she squeaked.

Mr. Todd abruptly turned around and stared into Mrs. Lovett's face for a few moments. Had Mrs. Lovett not been so scared, she would have been overjoyed that he was actually paying attention to her. But she _was _scared and now his gaze, however attractive and exciting it may be, was only making her more afraid. She tried to read his countenance but it was as impassive as ever. "It will not," he said at length, "happen again." as if Mrs. Lovett hadn't said the same thing. He turned back to the window and Mrs. Lovett began to walk toward the door. "Good night Mr. T." she said.

"Mrs. Lovett," called Mr. Todd, right before she left, "I was thinking. This window is incredibly dirty." he smirked, "Could you possibly find the time tomorrow to clean it?"

_A/N: Sorry it's so short. I like have no time anymore. My mom gave me a gazillion books from the library to read. Did I totally ruin the story? I really wanted to put that last bit in. Tell me what you think please._


	3. He's really serious!

_A/N: So sorry to take so bloody long. When I wasn't cleaning I was sleepwalking the whole weekend._ _I still haven't recovered fully. Haha. Anyway, here's the next chapter of Hysterical Window Washing._

**Disclaimer: **I thought I'd put one of these up here so I don't get into trouble. I do not own Sweeney Todd, Mrs. Lovett or Toby. I do not own the razors that Sweeney loves so much and I do not own Mrs. Lovett's pie shop. I don't even own the movie. Don't sue me please. :P

Once Mrs. Lovett left the shop, Sweeney began to argue with himself.

_Why did I do that? _He asked himself, _Tomorrow she's just going to come traipsing in here with a bucket and a rag and expect me to enjoy it. _Sweeney began to pace, his boots thumping on the aged wood floor. _Well, isn't that what I wanted? _

He collapsed into the chair and rubbed his temples. He had to admit, it had felt good to laugh that afternoon. In those few seconds, he had forgotten about being angry at the whole human race, about that terrible day 15 years ago when he was shipped off to Australia, even about the judge himself. He had actually felt relaxed for the first time in a long time. As these thoughts were racing through his head, he fell asleep.

_Ding. _Sweeney's eyes shot open. Mrs. Lovett was walking into the shop, carrying a tray of something. "Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Todd!" she gasped, "I didn't know you were asleep. I'll just set this down and be on my way."

Rubbing his eyes, Mr. Todd sat up in the chair and realized that it was morning. "What is that?" he asked, his voice thick with sleep.

"Why it's breakfast, silly man." laughed Mrs. Lovett. Mr. Todd suppressed the urge to smile at the musical sound of her laughter. When had it become so infectious? He stretched his neck to see what was on the tray. A slice of bread, a jar of marmalade, a cup of tea and a plate of eggs were arranged neatly on it and the most delightful smell was drifting off of the food. "Oh," he said, still waking up.

"Do you want me to put it on the vanity?" asked Mrs. Lovett, "There really isn't anywhere else to put it." Sweeney nodded and stood up to stretch. _Don't ever fall asleep in that again,_ he thought to himself, _Unless you want to be sore all day! _Mrs. Lovett noticed his discomfort and mistook it's cause.

_He's having second thoughts about his window,_ she thought, _I should have known. _She set the tray down and self- consciously smoothed her dress a little. "Umm," she said, "Do you still want me to come up later and clean that window?"

"Wha- oh, yes, of course I do" said Mr. Todd, puzzled that she seemed so nervous, "Why wouldn't I?"

"Oh, I don't know," said Mrs. Lovett, her heart leaping, "Just wondering. I'll be up later then." She started for the door, but Mr. Todd caught her arm.

"Please don't let the boy help," he said, smirking, "I don't my floor completely ruined from water damage."

Mrs. Lovett laughed. "Alright then Mr. T," she said, "Although, I'm sure he'll be very disappointed. Maybe I'll send him on an errand so he won't even know." She smiled again and walked out the door.

Sweeney turned his attention to the food on the vanity. It smelled delicious and upon sampling it, found it tasted as good as it smelled. Soon there was not one crumb left. _Her cooking sure has improved,_ he thought, remembering the pie he had tried when he first returned. That was an experience he did not want to relive.

Meanwhile, downstairs in the pie shop Mrs. Lovett was preparing the pie crusts for the morning. _What has gotten into him? _She thought, _Maybe he hit his head when he fell yesterday or something._

"Who hit their head?" a voice asked, causing Mrs. Lovett to jump and drop her rolling pin.

"Oh, Toby." she gasped, when her heartbeat had slowed a little, "Don't scare me like that love."

"Sorry Mum," said Toby, "I didn't mean to make you jump. Are you alright?"

"Just fine," Mrs. Lovett answered, "Now, what did you say?"

"Oh, well, you were talking about someone hitting their head," Toby began, "And I was wondering who it was."

"Did I say that out loud?" Mrs. Lovett asked. Toby nodded, "Oh, nobody did dearie. I was just thinking." She picked up the rolling pin. "Toby, could you run to the market later today? We're nearly out of coriander."

Toby shrugged, "Sure Mum. When exactly do you want me to go?"

Mrs. Lovett thought for a moment, " 'Ow about right after the lunch rush?" she asked, "That way it won't be so busy."

Toby agreed and she gave him the proper amount for the groceries. "Thanks love," Mrs. Lovett said with a smile "I don't know where I'd be without you."

Toby grinned, "Me too." he said, "While I'm out, is it alright if I stop by the park for a little while?"

"Oh of course it is dearie!" exclaimed Mrs. Lovett, "I wanted to take you yesterday, but I couldn't. You can stay out till the dinner rush, if you want to."

The boy's face lit up, "Thank you Mum!" he shouted.

Lunch customers began to show up, and Mrs. Lovett and Toby were very busy serving all the hungry people. But the rush was over soon enough and Mrs. Lovett shooed Toby out of the shop. She gathered the necessary supplies for window washing and mounted the stairs to Mr. Todd's shop, wondering what was going to happen.

_A/N: As always, I ask that you please review. You do not know how happy it makes me to see reviews._


	4. A SPIDER!

_A/N: Sorry to take so long. I'm going to my high school prom tomorrow and I've been really busy getting ready for it. Anyway, here's the next installment of _ Hysterical Window Washing. _Enjoy!_

**Disclaimer:** Nothing's changed since Monday. I still do not own any of the previously mentioned articles.

When Mrs. Lovett entered the shop, she found Mr. Todd sitting on his cot in the corner. "Ello love!" she said cheerily, "I've come to wash that window."

Sweeney simply nodded and Mrs. Lovett's spirits sank. '_E's in one of 'is moods,_ she thought, _Oh well, I'd better wash the window anyway. Did I really think 'e was going to jump up and 'elp me? _

Lugging the heavy bucket of water to the window, she surveyed the damage. Mr. Todd had been right, it _was_ rather dirty. Mrs. Lovett dipped a rag into the water, wrung it out, and began to scrub. She soon realized that there was no possible way she was going to reach the top sixteen inches of the window no matter how far she reached or how high she stood on her toes. She glanced over at Sweeney who was watching her work. "Mr. Todd," she said, "Could you possibly help me? I can't reach the top of the window."

Much to Mrs. Lovett's surprise, Mr. Todd got up from where he was seated and walked over to the window. Looking up at the top he said, "I can try, but I'm not sure I can reach it either." He grabbed a rag out of the bucket and stretched his arm. He couldn't reach it. Grunting, he stood on his toes and reached again. He still could not get to the top. Mrs. Lovett put her hands on her hips. "Well, that's not good." she said, "What do you suggest we do?"

Sweeney rolled his eyes. "How am I to know?" he asked, "I thought you were the one who came up with all the ideas."

"Well I would 'ave said to use the chair," snapped Mrs. Lovett, "But it's bolted to the floor. And besides, it's your turn to come up with something."

"Since when do we 'take turns', Mrs. Lovett?" asked Sweeney, amused that she was so flustered over something as trivial as washing a window.

Mrs. Lovett thought for a minute. "Alright," she said, "So we don't take turns. But I still think you should try to help me solve this problem!"

Sighing, Sweeney handed his rag to her. He really didn't want to do this, but it was the only solution he could think of. "Hold on," he said, and picked up Mrs. Lovett by the legs.

"What the bloody hell do ya think you're doing Mr. T?" shouted Mrs. Lovett.

"Just wash the window!" grunted Sweeney, trying to get a better grip, "And stop squirming! I don't want to drop you."

"Don't you dare!" shrieked Mrs. Lovett, "Don't you dare drop me!"

"Then hold still and hurry it up!" shouted Sweeney, still struggling to hold her better.

Lifting up her rag, Mrs. Lovett cautiously began to wash the top of the window. She had almost finished when she saw it. A huge, black, hairy spider was at the corner of the window.

Now, Mrs. Lovett was not afraid of many things. She didn't get squeamish at the sight of blood (she butchered people for a living for goodness sake!) she was comfortable around rats (good thing too, since they infested the sewers below the bakehouse) and she could pick up toads as if they were simply flowers on the ground (this was also good, because Toby was always bringing them home). But when it came to spiders, Mrs. Lovett was scared. No, terrified was a better word to describe it. She could not stand to be within a five foot radius of them.

So naturally, when she saw the spider in the window, she screamed and dropped her rag. Unfortunately, the rag landed on Sweeney's face.

"GAHH!" he shouted, lifting one hand to rip it off. Mrs. Lovett flailed about causing Sweeney to stumble. He managed to tear the rag off, but, tripped over the leg of the chair and fell, letting go of Mrs. Lovett in the process.

She tumbled down and landed on her already sore rear. Mr. Todd fell waving his arms around in the air, knocked over the bucket and landed on top of Mrs. Lovett, who was now soaked.

They both lay there for a moment, trying to catch their breath. Then, Sweeney pulled himself off of Mrs. Lovett, wincing. "What exactly happened up there, Mrs. Lovett," he asked in a cold voice.

Mrs. Lovett dropped her eyes. "Well, I..." she mumbled, "You see I.... what I mean to say is that...."

"Spit it out!" exclaimed an impatient Mr. Todd

"I saw a spider." said Mrs. Lovett in a small voice, "A really big one. And I got scared."

"You saw a spider," said Sweeney slowly, "So you decided to throw your rag on my head and scream and writhe like an animal?"

"I'm sorry?" offered Mrs. Lovett, who was beginning to get nervous. Cringing, she began to stand up. Her back _hurt_. Sweeney found himself filling up with concern for her, against his will. He reached out, and pulled her fully to her feet. "It's alright," he said, "Just don't expect me to do that again."

Mrs. Lovett smiled. "You weren't the one who fell four feet to the ground!" She began to giggle. Her giggling soon turned into laughter.

"It's not funny Mrs. Lovett." said Sweeney seriously.

"Oh yes it is!" she exclaimed, "Didn't you hear yourself yell?" She doubled over, laughing even harder.

"Well at least I wasn't the one who shrieked all because of a silly little spider!" Sweeney said, hotly, "I had to hold you up. It's a wonder you didn't fall out the window!"

Mrs. Lovett's eyes widened and she stopped laughing. "I didn't think about that." she gasped, "That would 'ave been simply terrible! Can you imagine what the people on the street would think? To see a woman come flying out a window?" She began to laugh again.

Sweeney took hold of her shoulders. "Would you take control of yourself?" he shouted, fighting the urge to laugh himself.

"Ca...ca..can't!" she panted, "I can't Mr. T!" She gripped her stomach and tried to stop laughing, but she couldn't.

She plopped back down on the wet barbershop floor and continued to laugh hysterically.

Her laughter was so contagious that Sweeney found himself chuckling along. Soon he joined Mrs. Lovett on the floor, laughing uncontrollably.

_A/N: What did you guys think? I hope I didn't ruin it. I figured that, Sweeney has a lot of built up stress, and he needed a way to vent it like a normal person, not through murder. Tell me what you think. You had better review. I have Sweeney tied up in my closet and I'm not letting him out unless you review this story. Mwahahaha!!!_


	5. Work

_A/N: Hey guys. I didn't mean to take so long in updating. My mom decided to rearrange the house, so I've been busy moving furniture and nursing sore muscles. I've also been trying to decide where the heck this story is heading. Haven't come up with much yet. Anyway, enough of this, here's more of _Hysterical Window Washing

**Disclaimer:** I still do not own Sweeney Todd. Neither do you. Unless you happen to be Stephen Sondheim or Tim Burton. If you are either Sondheim or Burton, I am very excited that you're reading my fanfic. You can contact me at my profile. :P

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------

Ten minutes had passed, and Mrs. Lovett and Mr. Todd had calmed down slightly. Instead of rolling around on the wet floor, gripping their sides while howling with laughter, they were sitting against the wall, gasping for air. "At least," said Mrs. Lovett at length, "We got the window clean." Mr. Todd was only able to nod in agreement, as he had yet to catch his breath.

Mrs. Lovett stood up, and stretched. "Well," she said, "I should probably get something to clean up all the- wait," She glanced at the floor and saw that the puddle of water was gone. "Umm, Mr. T," she began, but Sweeney interrupted. " I think you soaked up most of it with your dress, pet." he said with a grin. Mrs. Lovett gasped. "I didn't!" she exclaimed, examining her skirt.

Mr. Todd stood up and grabbed part of her dress. "Right here Mrs. Lovett," he said holding it up so she could see. Mrs. Lovett frowned and shoved her dress back down. "Honestly, Mr. T." she said, "It's not necessary that you lift my skirt above my knees! I can find it myself." She crossed her arms.

Sweeney stepped back. "If you're suggesting," he began. "I'm not suggesting anything Mr. Todd." snapped Mrs. Lovett, smoothing her dress. Her hands became wet from that, and she sighed. "I'm sorry, Mr. T." she said after a moment, "You were just trying to 'elp."

Mr. Todd rolled his eyes. _Of course I was trying to help!_ He thought. Mrs. Lovett turned. "I think I ought to go down and change." she said, "Toby will be 'ome soon, and 'e'll probably be worried. I'll be up later with dinner." With that, she walked out of the shop and down the stairs to her shop below.

When Mrs. Lovett entered her shop, she saw Toby sitting at one of the tables. "Mum!" he cried happily, "There you are!" Noticing her dripping hair and soaked dress he asked, "What happened?"

Mrs. Lovett smiled sheepishly. "Mr. Todd asked me to clean 'is window." she said, "And I spilled a little water."

Toby raised an eyebrow. "A little water?" he asked doubtfully, "Mum, it looks like you went swimming."

"It's not that bad, is it?" gasped Mrs. Lovett, eyes wide as she examined her clothes. Toby snorted. "Well, maybe not swimming." he admitted, "More like you got caught in a cloudburst." He stood up and handed a bag to her. "Here's the coriander you wanted." he said, "I wasn't sure where to put it."

Mrs. Lovett took the bag and set it on a shelf. "Spices go 'ere love." she said, "Now, I need to change." She left the kitchen and walked to her bedroom. After a short while, she emerged, wearing a clean dress and her hair dry.

"Toby." she called, "Can you get me the flour? I want to start the crusts before the dinner rush." She mixed ingredients for a few dozen pies and placed them in the oven down in the bakehouse. Running back up the stairs, she repeated the process. Customers began to drift in and she and Toby were busy serving them all. So many times was Mrs. Lovett reminded of how much of a help that boy was. It wasn't like she could serve everyone at once, but with Toby's assistance, it was almost as if they could.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------

After three hours of running up and down the bakehouse steps and flitting from table to table, Mrs. Lovett was ready to drop. So was Toby, although, he tried not to show it. After he scrubbed off the tables, Mrs. Lovett sent him to bed, despite his protests. She then began to hurriedly wash the dishes, trying desperately to finish quickly in order to bring supper up to Mr. Todd before she fainted from exhaustion. She was so deep into her work, she didn't hear the shop bell ring, or the door shut.

"Oh my god, look out!" a voice said, and before Mrs. Lovett could react, strong arms wrapped themselves around her waist and swung her away from the sink. She squirmed around, trying to see who was holding her, although, she had a pretty good idea who it was.

Sweeney Todd

"What do you think you're doing Mr. T?" she exclaimed.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you pet," he said, "Remember what happened last time?" He tightened his grip around her waist. "And to answer your question, there's a spider over there."

_A/N: I'm just going to stop asking if I ruined it. Cause it's my story. :P Oh and by the way, none of you guys can have a turn with Sweeney cause he escaped. I'm terribly sorry. Okay, I've been forgetting to do this, but I remembered this time! Responses to unsigned reviews:_

_NelliethePieAngel: Glad that a hysterically laughing Sweeney makes you smile. It makes me smile too._

_Bloodyhell: Glad you like the story!_

_Okay, all you guys need to review this or I'll send the beadle after you. I'd send Sweeney, but he's kinda angry at me right now. _


	6. The end

_A/N:Hi folks! I know it's been a while but I had writers block. I want to finish this story so I can start another one. Ya see, I had this idea the other day and I'm dying to use it. I've been busy because we're having this big party at my house and my mom didn't want to hire a catering company. So we're making all the food. Fun. (note my sarcastic tone) Okay, here's the last part of _ Hysterical Window Washing

**Disclaimer:** I DON'T OWN SWEENEY BLOODY TODD!!!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------

Mrs. Lovett spun around and grabbed Mr. Todd's waistcoat. "Where?" she gasped, truly scared.

Sweeney chuckled. "Right over there, pet." he said with a smirk. Mrs. Lovett turned her head in the direction he was pointing. Sure enough, there was a spider, the very same one that scared Mrs. Lovett eariler that day.

It was big, and hairy. It had lighter colored stripes on it's long, fuzzy legs. The moonlight shone on it's huge, black body, creating a dark shadow on one side of it. It creeped with stealth along the pie shop floor. And it was slowly making it's way towards our beloved Mrs. Lovett and Sweeney Todd.

"Oh, get it!" exclaimed Mrs. Lovett, terrified. Mr. Todd tried to pry her fingers from his vest, but she only gripped it tighter as the spider continued to creep closer.

"Mrs. Lovett, I can't 'get it' if you don't let go." Sweeney informed her, "Unless you want me to drag you over to it with me." He started to walk towards the spider.

Mrs. Lovett shrieked in response and let go, quickly stepping back several feet. Mr. Todd rolled his eyes and strode over to the offending creature. With one stomp of his boot, it was dead. Killed. Squished. No longer amongst the living. Mrs. Lovett breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thank you Mr. T." she said gratefully. Sweeney rolled his eyes again.

"Honestly Mrs. Lovett," he scoffed, " You don't 'ave to get so worked up. It's just a spider." He reached down and picked up what was left of the spider and held it out to Mrs. Lovett. "See?"

Mrs. Lovett's eyes widened and she backed up. "Yes, yes, yes," she said quickly, opening the shop door, "I've seen quite enough, love. You can just throw that outside"

Chuckling, Mr. Todd threw the remains out the door and wiped his hand on the seat of his pants. Closing the door, he turned to Mrs. Lovett, who was looking at the ground sheepishly. He walked over to her and she looked up. "I'm sorry," she said, "I can't 'elp it. I just lose me mind around 'em. It's-" "Fine." Sweeney interrupted, "It's fine."

Mrs. Lovett smiled. "Thanks Mr. T." she said, "I really am sor-" "Would you cut that out?" exclaimed Mr. Todd, fed up with her guilt, "I said it's fine! Just leave it. And besides, being afraid of spiders is nothing."

Mrs. Lovett raised an eyebrow. "What d'ya mean Mr. T?" she asked, puzzled.

Mr. Todd leaned close, and whispered sonething in her ear. Mrs. Lovett's put a hand to her mouth to suppress a giggle. "No." she gasped in disbelief, "I don't believe you!"

Mr. Todd looked at the ground. "It's true." he said quietly, "They really do."

"Sweeney Todd!" Mrs. Lovett exclaimed, "You mean to tell me that your afraid of rats?"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------

_A/N: Well, that's the end. I hope you liked it. I'm not sure I like how I kind of got off my original story, which was washing windows but oh well. Other than that, I'm pretty pleased. Responses to unsigned reviews:_

_Emily: Haha. Well, now I do know you. Don't worry, even though you feel like an idiot, I don't think you're one. :P I'm glad the story made you smile. Thanks for the encouragement! Okay, a bit of information, I'm American. :P_


End file.
